Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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