This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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