my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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