what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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