hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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