Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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