i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
