Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
