The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
