you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
