Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
