but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
