where am i from again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
