she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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