I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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