bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
