: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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