we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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