I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
