he thought i was a dude.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
