I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
