I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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