I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
COCAINE IS GR8
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
