well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
