I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I believe in your delicious
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
