Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
