She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
only if we run a train.
done.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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