It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
