you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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