4 words: hood of his car
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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