Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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