I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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