this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
