Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
