He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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