I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
