So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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