@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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