I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
