Whoa Z and x make the same sound
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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