i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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