i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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