true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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