hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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