We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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