ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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