ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
