To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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