i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
