Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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