The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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