Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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