Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
