So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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