was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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