Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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